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Don't forget: we're raising children, not flowers!

22 июня 2016, в 15:42

Don't forget: we're raising children, not flowers!


My neighbor David's two children, five and seven years. Once in the yard he taught his seven year old son Kelly to handle a lawnmower. In that moment, when he showed how to turn the mower at the end of the lawn, gin, his wife, called out to David with some question. He turned away and Kelly walked the mower around the edge of a flower bed, leaving a trail of flowers beveled with a width of sixty inches!

When David turned back and saw what happened, he flipped out. David put a lot of time and effort to make this bed the envy of the neighbors. He has already started to increase in the son's voice, but then it quickly approached Jean and said, "David, please remember... we're raising children, not flowers!"

Gin reminded me how important it is that parents never forget about their priorities. Children and their self-esteem is much more important than any object they might break or ruin. Broken window, the overturned lamp and a chipped plate already suffered. The flowers have already died. I have to remember not to add to the list of destruction, breaking the child's spirit and killing in it the joy of life.


A few weeks ago I bought a sport suit and mark Milsom, owner of the store, talking about parenthood. He said that when his whole family — wife and seven — year-old daughter was visiting, the girl knocked over during dinner, a glass of water. When water is wiped away and the parents have not made her comments, the girl said: "Thank you, that you are not like other parents. Most of my friends parents are different: they would shout at them and lectured about what we need to be more careful. Thank you didn't!"

Once, when I was having dinner with friends, there was a similar case. Their five year old son knocked over a glass of milk on the dining room table. The parents pounced on the boy, and I deliberately knocked over his glass. When I began to explain that, before the age of forty-eight years, continue to overturn things, the boy beamed, and parents, realizing the hidden meaning of my words, calmed down. How easy to forget that we all continue to learn!


Recently, Steven Glenn told me a story about a scientist who made several important discoveries in the field of medicine. During the interview the journalist asked him why he decided he can achieve more than an ordinary man. What sets him apart from other people?

The scholar replied that, in his opinion, this originates from a lesson taught by mother when he was two years old. He tried to get out of the fridge a bottle of milk, she slipped from his hands, and its contents poured all over the kitchen floor — a real sea of milk!

When his mother walked into the kitchen, instead of yelling, lecturing or punishing the son, she said, "Robert, what a wonderful mess you've made. Never seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, what's done is done. If you want to play a bit in the milk and then we'll fix it".

He played, and in a few minutes the mother said, "you Know, Robert, spreading dirt, in the end you have to remove it. How do you want to do? Using sponges, towels or brushes? What do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

Then the mother said, "what happened here can be called a failed experiment to transfer a big milk bottle with two small hands. Let's go outside, pour in a bottle of water and see if there's any way to carry it without dropping it". The kid learned that he can hold the bottle without busting if you take the neck, near the cap. What a wonderful lesson!

Distinguished scholar further said that at that moment he realized that he should not be afraid to make mistakes. On the contrary, he realized that mistakes are an opportunity to learn something new, and this in the end is the essence of scientific experiments. Even if the experiment fails, we usually learn something valuable.

It would be great if all parents responded the same way, what was the reaction of the mother of Robert!


One last story that illustrates the application of this relationship, but for adults, said a few years ago on the radio Paul Harvey. A young woman was driving home from work and scratched the fender on the bumper of the other. In tears, she explained that it was a new car, bought just a few days ago. And now what is she gonna tell my husband?

The driver of the other car sympathized with her but said they should exchange numbers and driver's license numbers of cars. When the young woman started to take out the large brown envelope of documents, out fell a piece of paper. Sure men's handwriting on it was written: "In the event of a traffic accident... remember, honey, I love you, not the car!"


Let's not forget that the spirit of our children immeasurably more important than any material things. And when we remember it, self-esteem and love blossom is much more beautiful than any flower beds.


Jack Canfield

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